Don’t strike, cut council tax and kiss goodbye to Scotland
Making new year resolutions for myself is something I gave up long ago. Instead I make them for other people. But some of these resolutions have to be made again, year after year: people just won’t be told. So I’m including a couple of the hardy perennials in my list for 2012.
World leaders Learn from the recent past how very little is achieved and how much harm is done by invasion. Leave taking out rogue nuclear installations to the Israelis.
Civil service Public-spirited public servants everywhere — teachers, doctors, nurses, social workers, hospital administrators, probation officers, police officers — should follow the example of Gandhi and respond to Whitehall oppression and bureaucratic red tape with peaceful passive resistance. Gently say no to paperwork. Refuse to fill in the forms and refuse to read the guidelines. Bin all the bumf. Only something very extreme will convince Whitehall that public servants must be relieved of the crushing burden of bureaucracy. And don’t worry about getting blamed or sacked. No one ever does, apart from whistleblowers. (As Sharon Shoesmith, head of children’s services in Haringey when Baby P died, so memorably said in May: “I don’t do blame.”) United Nations Clean up the UN Human Rights Council (as it is now called). For years it has been one of those intolerable scandals that people somehow tolerate. It even included Gadaffi’s Libya until last March and to this day includes Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, China and Uganda.
Europhiles Explain in clear English the advantages of ever-closer harmonisation with Europe and of the European constitution. Europhiles always address Eurosceptics as if we are too stupid to understand the great European project. Eurosceptic arguments have always been simple and easy to follow. If Europhile sophisticates cannot come up with an equally plain and powerful case, we shall be forced to think they have not got one.
Eurosceptics of 2012 Remember that being right always puts one in the wrong and try not to resent it.
The Archbishop of Canterbury Say no more. You have chosen to support sharia in your country and you have chosen not to support homosexual priests in your church. That general line is medieval.
David Cameron Avoid flashy parties until, like Tony Blair, you are free again to associate with the ghastliest people you like. Make your ministers tell you all about their closest friends, in case one of them turns out to be another Adam Werritty.
The secretary of state for Scotland Set up a referendum in England, Wales and Northern Ireland asking voters whether they would like Scotland to be made independent. The result would be a resounding yes and would save the Scots the bother.
Trade union leaders Look in the mirror before you try to start any strikes. Presumably you became trade unionists to better the lot of ordinary people. Striking this year for impossible deals will only make things very much harder for millions of those people.
Baby boomer haters However much you may resent the lucky generation that amassed property and savings, don’t forget that the value of their assets is being deliberately eroded by government policies. Near-zero interest rates, inflation, poor investment returns, falling house prices and rising health costs will ensure many have a miserable old age.
Councillors Learn from councillor Stephen Greenhalgh, the December pin-up of the TaxPayers’ Alliance. The leader of Hammersmith and Fulham council in London has cut or frozen local tax for six years and nearly halved the council’s debts while residents’ satisfaction has soared. His determination proves what great things can be done even in hard times.
Refuse collection officials Drop the daft idea that it is safe or acceptable to collect rubbish less often than once a week: twice a week is what is needed. We’ve actually had maggots. Where are the health and safety people when you need them? Mike Farrar, chief executive of the NHS Confederation Continue to bully the government to tell the truth about the real costs of the National Health Service, including the rocketing costs of care of the so-called hospital bed-blockers. One in four people in a hospital bed has dementia and there were reports last week that over-80s were blocking emergency departments because they could get no care in the community. Without huge spending on GPs, district nurses and social care, hospitals will before long be unable to function.
People in their child-bearing years Don’t have more than two children. Only the rich can afford to have lots of babies. The children in the big families of the poor and unemployed are supported by the taxpayer and that might well change.
The Pope Repent publicly and spectacularly for all the institutionalised child abuse that the Catholic Church has ignored or covered up.
Political leaders (except theocracies) Keep religion out of political discourse. It is divisive and politically unwise. Above all, stop hinting that only religious people can be good: there is plenty of evidence the other way.
Housing ministers Direct people away from southeast England. Offer people council or subsidised housing to those entitled to it anywhere but there. The drying up of the River Kennet is just one of many signs that this part of Britain cannot sustain more people.
Everyone Best foot forward, as they used to say in the first world war trenches. And happy new year.
minette.marrin@sunday-times.co.uk